“Sometimes God will put you in some situations that will force you to close certain doors. Close the door and never look back, because if you keep the door open, you will never be able to go through all the doors that God is about to open for you. No matter how much you love a person, love yourself enough to go out on a limb and move forward. The harsh reality is that some people will not fit your narrative and they can’t accompany you on the journey that has already been predestined for you. Stop getting in your own way. Elevation requires separation and isolation. Close that door that you probably had no business opening in the first place.”
– Attorney SouthernBelle
On September 20, 2018, I made a decision to choose me because the person who vowed to love me did not love me the way I deserved to be loved. It’s been a year since I chose me and I am evolving. I am learning who I am as a woman, as a professional, and as a servant leader. It’s been painful, full of anxiety, beautiful and it’s been a journey, but it’s my journey. Maybe you are on a journey too, embrace it. During this season, I have had some less than pretty situations that required me to shift gears and shut the front door, the back door, the side door, the room door, and even the windows to truly grasp the beauty of my essence and my worth.
Life is like an elevator, there are many people who are going to ride the elevator with you, however, everyone who rides the elevator with you will not be getting off on the same floor. There are some people in our lives that do not fit into the narrative of our present or future. Once you make this determination, you have to make a decision to close the door. Close the door to the heartache, pain, hurt, embarrassment, mischaracterization, anger and the harsh reality that you were an option and never the priority. Closing the door is a chance at freedom, a chance for redemption and a chance to love you and love your life, even the not so pretty parts. J.Cole once said, “No such thing as a life that’s better than yours (Love Yourz),” and there has been no truer statement, your life is one that is unique so love you and love your life.
In learning to fully love myself and my life (because I am not all the way there), and it has been a challenge to get back to loving me after putting so much time, effort, and investment into others who didn’t necessarily mean me any good. Sure there were good times, but there were more bad times than there were good times. Closing the door is taking a stand and saying no more. Closing the door is telling yourself that you are worth every good thing that manifests itself of in your life. Closing the door is telling those men of your past that you are good enough. Closing the door is telling your past that you will come second to no one or anything. Closing the door is giving yourself the opportunity to put yourself first. Closing the door is allowing yourself to move forward and await the new doors that are waiting to open for you.
New doors can open only when you close the doors that continuously lead you back to the door. However, most of us are too scared and afraid of the unknown to even lock the door and throw away the key. The truth of the matter is that we keep doors open because of familiarity and vulnerability, however, deep down we keep reaching the knob and key to close the door because it should not have been open in the first place. (Metaphor: Red Flags). It was hard for me to close some doors based on the premise that second chances are for everyone. However, what about the second chance that I owe myself? I owe myself a second chance at happiness, love, and life, with the right person and the right person at this time is me, Attorney SouthernBelle. The truth of the matter is that you can’t save a person from themselves and a person can’t save you from yourself. Only you can save yourself.
Doors begin to open when you begin to take the initiative to seize every good opportunity. Doors begin to open when you begin to choose yourself and be true to yourself. Shakespeare said it best, “To Thine Own Self Be True.”
So here it is, September 20, 2019, and I find myself fully and truly giving myself the opportunity to love on this beautiful, amazing, special woman, that everyone else sees because she is worth the world and more. It’s taken me a few trips around the sun to really realize that I needed to be good to me. Sometimes we are good to others that we neglect ourselves in the process and we lose ourselves and that is no way to live.
Healing happens when in a season of isolation, separation, and self-edification especially when you are trying to shake a toxic and emotionally debilitating past. If it is no longer leading you in a place of positivity, close door. If he treats you like a second option and a good time, close the door. Whatever no longer serves a purpose in the narrative of the life that you are narrating, close the door and love you. It may be lonely and it may be hard, but the reward of many open doors is well on the way, just close the doors that deserve to be closed.
“Though I have decided to close the door, I want you to know that I loved you to the deepest depths of my soul, but now it’s time for me to love me more.”
~ Attorney SouthernBelle